Hello hello!
I haven't kept this lil blog of mine as up to date as I would have liked but I'm finally getting around to it and I'll try not to neglect it too much in the future.
These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of starting my training for Zambia, starting fundraising, applying for jobs, thinking about graduation, oh and trying to work and do school in the process. It's been cray y'all. But through all of this God just continues to show me each and every day that He is enough and He will provide.
Let's start with the training. It has been so awesome! We are reading a book called When Helping Hurts by Steve Corbett & Brian Fikkert. I have already learned so much from this book and the response questions at the end of each chapter as well as from my fellow interns. It is always awesome to get to hear other people's responses and especially the ones I'll be spending 2 months with in another country!
This last chapter we read really focused on what poverty is. It's rooted in brokenness and I loved how they said it. "Every human being is suffering from a poverty of spiritual intimacy, a poverty of being, a poverty of community, and a poverty of stewardship." We are all broken and all in need. It's been so great to be humbled so much already and know that I'm broken too and I'm not okay either. The book says it best when they say, "I'm not okay and you're not okay, but Jesus can fix us both."
I can't do anything in my own strength and God is continually showing me that and continually showing me that He can.
For my fundraising, I am making teacup/mug candles (which are super cute btdubs) so that has been going super awesome! I also sent out letters which I initially wasn't going to do because honestly I felt bad asking people for money and them not getting anything in return. But as I prayed about the finances I realized I was limiting God. And as I have received so much support already from sending out letters I have also received letters back. People are asking their churches to pray for my trip and they want to know how God is moving in Zambia and that is so awesome!
I wasn't thinking about God impacting other people's lives when I sent these letters out but He absolutely has and it is so awesome!! I was honestly starting to have doubts about funds and if I would meet the $6,000 that I have to raise. A conversation with my mom didn't help much either because she was also having doubts.
I thought of the story in Mark 9 where the father asks Jesus "if" he can heal his son and Jesus responds, "If I can? All things are possible to him who believes." The father responds, "I do believe; help my unbelief." I love the father's response because this is exactly how I feel. I know God will provide for me but I need Him to help my unbelief.
God has continually provided and I can already see it growing my own faith and my parent's faith. My mom was blown away by the amount of people that have already donated to help fund my trip. She said, "Well I just need to shut my mouth don't I?" It is so cool to see God using this experience to move in other people's lives already. I am so thankful for each and every donation! And that God has moved in so many hearts already! So far I have received about $1,400 from donations! God is so awesome!! He continually puts my doubts to rest.
In applying for jobs and thinking about graduation and the future, God continually gives me peace about the unknown. He loves me so much and I'm so so thankful. Through this Zambia experience already, my faith and trust in Him as already grown so much. Now when I think about the future, my trust is fully in Him and I know He will provide for me. Whatever that looks like I am fully dependent on Him and Him alone.
I'm not okay and I'm broken but Jesus can fix me and He continues to do that each day.
Please keep praying for my fellow interns and me as we continue on in this journey! And keep checking here for more updates!
Thanks and gig'em!
